Welcome to Sexy Time Table!
These are the stories of the lewd and lonely drunks that we meet in the corner of every party. They are the chorus of depravity and despair, the gossip-mongers who are the first to know and the last to leave.
Pull up a chair. Babe - top off your glass of chardonnay, have another martini, because here it's best if we are all a little saucy. You are also welcome to smoke or have some nicotine replacement. This is modern day group therapy.
We live on an Island called Manhattan. (Well, technically we live in the boroughs - who can afford that?) Let's just call ourselves New Yorkers, plain and simple. This is a time capsule to show our children (or the nice orderlies who will be changing our diapers in the old age home) what it was like to be in our 30s trying to find love here. Or keep love. Or at the very least have some sex. We want those imaginary children or nice people in their paper outfits to understand that this time was not like Carrie, Samantha, Rachel, Monica, or Bethany Frankel made it seem. Those lovely ladies had it all and good for them - in the TV way. For our peers compromise is an art form. Our tribal creed is "there's a price you pay for everything". We are crazy to live on the island - but there's no denying the return on investment here and the relentless lure of a city of possibility. The greatest in the world? What have you done for me lately?
And here we are - two not quite jaded non-models almost in their mid-thirties who are still looking for two semi-sane human males to list as our emergency contacts.
We'd love to share some of our shenanigans with you and want to hear yours. Also - we are painfully unqualified for this - but you are welcome to ask us questions about love, life and sex. Maybe when we drunkenly answer them after doing the walk of shame you'll feel better about yourself - and that's all we really want.
Upcoming: Who is afraid of her maid? What happens when a vibrator starts to emit smoke? What do having a baby and having your heart broken have in common? Where can you find group therapy for $6 per person per hour? What's with teen novels and grown women? And what is the venereal disease that you probably caught from reading this?